Intro:
My name is Jacob. I'm from planet earth. If you're here reading this you most likely know me in person and so that is all that needs to be said. If not, that's all I feel you need to know at this point, you'll know more I'm sure out of curiosity and interest, or perhaps you'll leave it at that intrigued by mystery. Whatever may be the case I digress. As the title says this is my first blog post ever. One more thing to note about myself is that I'd much prefer not to be on a computer, I'm pretty old school, preferring books, face-to-face conversation, walking, resting early and waking with the sun (the latter does not always happen in accordance with life). I tend to have many words when I know, or perhaps more accurately 'believe' someone/thing is listening. That flows from my many thoughts. I am not alone in this, I know we all think, so that's okay, and we all want someone to listen to us and our thoughts. I believe this stems from a deep desire to be known and have communion with others....All that being said, you may ask 'why the blog?' That my friend is the right question. So I've got this friend, he suggested I do it. He said it'd be cool to share thoughts, learnings, songs, sermons, etc and try and become more diversified, or something like that. He's pretty much like my best friend, and though I don't always agree with him, I trust him. Blogging just may be the thing. Afterall, I really like to teach and I presume this is a good platform for that hobbie of mine. Not that I have anything important to teach, but jus' sayin'...As the title says these entries will be my 'Thoughts for Thursday.'
I imagine much of this blog will be personal thoughts, reflections, things I am learning, sermons or books I enjoy, latest songs from my fave artists, and journal entries. It will appear random, but I promise, there will be purpose...I realized I have just rambled a lot in this intro. Enough said.
The following are excerpts from multiple journal entries of mine as they appear straight off the pages, the reason for this is to connect a central though and theme around suffering, loss, grief and joy as I reflected on the loss my best friend recently suffered, and my own life relating to that of the life of Christ Jesus...
Suffering Loss: Grief and Joy...
January 7, 2012 - 12:31pm (Ashland, WI)
Grief and Joy...
The
life of a Christ follower is one of constant, or rather continual
grief and joy. Grief is the proper response when we
mourn the loss of something/one close to us. The closer, more attached and deeply invested in that, the greater our loss and therefore the greater our grief.
Joy is the only proper response internally; one of
maturity and
growth. Joy is that we value the
fruit of righteousness and faith that is to come more than the present agony and pain of
our loss. We have hope and put our
trust in the things to come, it goes beyond our present circumstances.
Jesus said, "whoever would lose himself for my sake will find life." This life is not only eternal, but a life that is eternally satisfied in Christ; our loss is for
His sake.
Satisfied in Christ...
We must be most
satisfied in Christ so that we lay down our lives. We lose them, we crucify them daily - we bear our cross! Sanctification simply means that we're being
made into His likeness. and so we lose ourselves. As Paul said, "I count it all as loss compared to the joy of knowing Christ." What is my life?...My
rights, my
desires, my goals, my dreams, reputation, relationships, status, possessions, my health...What is my life? It is all but a loss! A loss, I say, compared to knowing
Christ! And so we find ourselves with only two remedies that allows is to endure the crucifixion of ourselves daily; embrace and joy. We must joyfully
embrace our sanctification and our losses. Secondly, we must embrace the joy of knowing Christ, for all else is loss.
Personal Losses...
The "wisdom" or teaching in this world is often times contrary to biblical truth, for in the wisdom and design of the Most High God we find that our lives are but a walk where grief and joy go hand-in-hand. Hopefully this pen works better, it seems so...I have been experiencing a great deal of traumatic losses since April 14, 2010. That was the day Erin ended our relationship. It was in need of great repair, but I had been sure we were headed for marriage as we had already planned on. I had made her my life since January 2008. That's a lot of investment into someone, and of yourself, some of which I don't think I will get back. Thankfully much of that is my old self being replaced by a welcomed Christ-likeness. That was the beginning of a series of tough losses, most of which are my old self and now I am slowly learning to put on the new. For much of my life it was all about me, my plans, my dreams, goals, schemes, desires, mine, all mine - rank with pride as the stench of vanity poisoned my lungs, my heart, mind and soul. Though painful, the loss of these things has been endurable. I now know, at least in part, what it means to value the things the Father does.
Christ's Example of Perfect Joy in Suffering...
In Hebrews 12:2 it says that Jesus endured His present suffering and anguish of the cross because of the joy set before Him. Surely this joy was placed in many things; perfect obedience and humility, the redemption of humanity, the justification of many sons and daughters, but most of all the glory of the Father. Christian Hedonism says "God is most glorified when we are most satisfied in Him." I believe that. It was satisfaction in bringing glory to the Father that led Christ to the crux of history, the apex in all the world's existence. God was never more glorified by an act of obedience when Jesus showed us that it was worth it to endure the most horrific brutality of physical pain, as well as the crushing weight of God's wrath and justice against all sin (this is something that cannot be fathomed; it is all together lovely, awesome, and infinite). Why was it worth it? The humility, grace, love and glory of God was on perfect display and furthermore the glory, love, grace and humility of God was made available through such a worthy sacrifice. Not only was it the main point, but God demonstrated that it was the only possible way to accept us and show us the main thing! It was both the end and the means to the end. My head is about to explode. The past 7 months I have been dealing with some of my toughest losses yet; college-aged adultness, a life of lesser responsibility, college lifestyle, my singleness, and many flawed traits in my character that I once saw value in holding to so dearly. I think family connection would fit well here too.
Our Test of Faith...
The enduring test and joy will be if I value a loving committed relationship, the body of Christ, the new self, benefit and fruit of a life filled with greater responsibility. I recall the words of James, "consider it joy," "blessed is the man who perseveres." This can only be done by faith in God out of love for Him (Hebrews 11:6, Romans 14:23, Galatians 5:6) trusting that He has begun a good work and He will complete this good work. The amazing thing about my will compared to God's will is that my will is always going to play according to God's will! I am free to choose and have a real responsibility but can do nothing apart from what God has already decreed - This wisdom is too great and vast for my comprehension! I don't know that I will ever understand these things.
Search my heart, O God, Examine my ways and reveal to me the truth. Grant me grace to do Thy will.
The example that Jesus set was allowing His body to go through graphic pain for the sake of the Father's glory, I believe I should make an effort to do the very same. I must learn to lose myself, surrender my rights and life to the way of righteousness and of the Holy Spirit leading me in grace to glory. My second book idea, "From grace to glory: The Death of Self in the Death of Christ"
January 8, 2012 - 12:46pm ( Ashland, WI)
Research and Reflection...
Last night I began reading a book by C.J. Mahaney called "Humility: True Greatness" I have it on my heart to do a thorough search and journey in pursuit of humility and grace. I lack a great deal in these two areas. It was 4am by the time I got to bed after reading last night. I need to pray for insight into my own brokenness and need, we call this spiritual poverty. It will be painful and scary but shall be done by God's grace in the hope and joy that is set before me. This journaling helps clear my mind so that I can pray and read (1 Peter 4:7). Woe I am such a sinner in need of grace. It is so disgusting and perverse to think we can do things in life and still think ourselves righteous and worthy. God we praise you for our justification, your amazing grace, and the hope we have in your glory. I am still learning and growing so much. It is painful, and I hope fruitful.
Connecting the Dots...
From yesterday I reflected on how we defend against sin by embracing our suffering as Christ did. It's true that Jesus lived a sinless life. It's also true that suffering occurs when/because we grieve and go through a loss. It occurred to me during church that I had not fully connected these dots and internalized their profound implications. Here's where this goes...The deep and heavy things most closely attached to ourselves that we must surrender and suffer as losses for the sake of humility, true growth into Christ-likeness, and for God's glory are these - our rights, our desires, position, reputation, goals, and agendas (there are indeed other things, many a painful, that we suffer as loss) - anything that would seek to be about us, including our comfort, and satisfying the cravings of our flesh, the lust of the eyes, and boastfulness of life. All things in surrender and therefore lost.
The Big Punch...
Well, the big punch...Jesus' very state of being, the incarnate God, and yet fully man, thus suffered the loss of Himself as King of kings, LORD of Lords, and perfect deity every moment and breath He took while walking in bodily flesh on this wretched earth. He was constantly experiencing total suffering and totally unable to escape His suffering and the reality of His personal losses. This is no doubt climaxed at the cross when the Father turned His face away - "My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?" - So how did He, the God-man, never sin? He embraced the nature of a servant. He humbled Himself. He counted Himself as nothing. Behold the glory, the majesty, the grace and wonder of our Lord Jesus Christ!!! To gaze upon this, to pursue this and strive for such character is to know the mind and heart of God, from whom all blessings flow. Let His Holy Spirit make us perfect in weakness and lead us in ways everlasting. To Him belongs eternal praise!
"My attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus." ~ Philippians 2:5
